Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in ramesh_child's LiveJournal:

Friday, March 21st, 2008
7:04 pm	mum has hidden the scales, i can't find them anywhere, last night i crawled up in a little ball when my boyfriend touched me, i sobbed and sobbed and cried and cried and shuddered and screamed, every time he touched my back or thighs i wanted to die, i just wanted to scream and kick and bite, i hate my brain, i hate this trecherous coffin of a body. im sick , i have the flu, i haven't eaten today so everytime i sneeze my brain feels like it's slamming against my skull. i just feel so fucking lonely. i want to be held i just don't want to be touched. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 18th, 2006
9:43 pm	time to say good bye (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 12th, 2006
5:04 pm	DISCLAIMER for imogens sake, this is not a journal for my thoughts and feelings, this is purely entertainment Current Music: lamb of god // vigil (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
2:12 pm	well ladies und gentlemen yet another dance of st whores has come and passed us, and though not lacking eventfullness, i still ponder as to why i attended. heartbreak galore and bitter dissapointment on anitas behalf, though still reeling with pleasure at seeing my companion morty, and meeting the "new and improved god" according to BBC, i doubt i shall return to another. my dearest love to you all....except for you, i dont love you since you ate my cat. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 20th, 2005
8:16 am	YAY finished new english assignment, this one was on a fairy tale of our choice and we had to adapt it so we could right a monologue from the perspective of one of the characters. i chose the story of the brave tin soldier in which he falls in love with a ballerina doll. so i wrote it from her point of view.... Wind me up and i shall smile for you, i spin and shine in the fading light of a candle. love me until i break and then forget me. i am so admired yet so replaceable. and so i am, a gleaming plaything only loved until my gears snap and i can no longer dance in my solitary sadness. over there just across from me, his brave little face shadowed with doubt. his paint is faded and his eyes are sad. he has not said a word yet i can read him like a fiction. he shares my fears and sadness. he too will be replaced and no one will those sad eyes and the way he stands propped against a crutch. no one loves you when your crippled. We are at out masters mercy, doomed to be left in the dust or thrown into the inferno of the fire grate. the life of a toy is always temporary. i stretch my hands out to my little friend, an imaginary embrace, then turn in my spot robotically. the mechanical droning of the music box bores a painful repetition in my head. the master picks his next victim, my silent tin companion, and places him in a paper vessel. a pitiful nothing of a coffin, i shall never see him again. i wave a silent goodbye to my brave little love and his downcast eyes twinkle their own sad response, he will not be the last to go. with an invisible salute my tin hearted beloved was to be taken outside and sent away from the warmth of the masters parlour. with all my heart i wished to follow, but my porcelain feet stay fixed in their lead shoes. i curse my maker for his stupidity! a ballerina with fixed shoeas and a heavy heart. a cruel mistake on his behalf. i am the borken heart of a mortal. nothing can mend me nor hurt me more than i already am. i am blemished and tainted but only in my cold interior. outside i am a frozen ornament of perfection. my polished heart has cracked in two, it shall never be whole. oo im so proud hahahjaha Current Mood: chipper (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
1:22 pm	hmmmmmmm......14 year olds are petty, i still cant believe they are using the pathetic line of..."i dont want to be your friend anymore, you make me feel depressed!", yes my dear friend of 5 years has decided he has outgorwn me and wishes to spend his time with more "typical" kids he literally used the term "typical", ok so i understand thats sought of a compliment, every one wants to feel special, but no one wants to be abandoned for people less special. oh sadness for the ramesh monster... Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: Tool // Eulogy (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 14th, 2005
1:45 pm	Oh wholesome sadness and melon collie....another week of school ends... hoorah for rachel this weeks achievement AN A+ in my english assessment...now if i could only pass EVERY OTHER SUBJECT then maybe ill please my ever dissapointed parents, ramesh needs a hug people! Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Vigil // Lamb of God (3 Comments |Comment on this)